What NOT to Expect While You’re Expecting

Congratulations! You’re expecting! You’re probably filled with excitement, anticipation, and a bit of nerves.

Forget all about the picture-perfect Instagram posts about pregnancy, there are some less glamorous truths you need to know.

So, let’s dive into what NOT to expect while you’re expecting.

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Feeling Like a Goddess

Forget visions of radiant pregnancy glow and feeling like a goddess.

More like feeling like a sweaty, bloated version of yourself as you waddle through the day with swollen ankles and a craving for a bucket of Nutella at 3 a.m.

Accept the glow of perspiration and the beauty of stretch marks – they’re all part of the journey.

Endless Energy

Don’t count on being a ball of energy during pregnancy.

Sure, some lucky souls might experience a surge of vitality, but for many, it’s more like trying to run when you are deep in thick mud.

You’ll find yourself nodding off during conversations, fantasizing about naps, and wondering if you’ll ever see the day when you’re not exhausted (Not for a few more years unfortunately).

Calm and Collected Demeanor

Pregnancy hormones are like a rollercoaster ride for your emotions, and that calm and collected demeanor you once had? It’s taken a sabbatical.

One minute you’re laughing uncontrollably at cat videos, the next you’re sobbing because you spilled cereal.

Strap in for the emotional whirlwind – it’s all part of the fun.

Related: Track Your Pregnancy: A Monthly Guide

Perfectly Planned Pregnancy Diet

Throw out those meticulously crafted pregnancy diet plans.

Cravings will strike at the most inconvenient times, and suddenly, your meal of choice is ice cream topped with Cheetos.

Don’t fight it – embrace the weird and wonderful cravings, and maybe sneak in a salad somewhere along the way.

Effortless Maternity Fashion

Whoever said maternity clothes were chic and comfortable clearly never tried squeezing into a pair of maternity jeans or wrestling with a stubborn maternity bra clasp.

Say hello to a wardrobe of stretchy leggings, oversized shirts, and the eternal quest for a bra that doesn’t feel like a medieval torture device.

Perfectly Timed Labor

Don’t expect your baby to arrive precisely on their due date like clockwork.

Mother Nature loves to keep you guessing, so be prepared for the possibility of overdue days filled with endless walks, spicy foods, and nipple stimulation.

Graceful Pregnancy Yoga

Pregnancy yoga might sound serene and graceful, but in reality, it’s more like a comedy of errors.

Attempting downward dog with a baby bump feels more like wrestling a beach ball.

And don’t even get me started on trying to tie your shoes without cutting off your circulation.

Sleeping Soundly Through the Night

Say goodbye to uninterrupted nights of sleep.

Your bladder will become your arch nemesis, ensuring you will wake up every twenty minutes or less.

Add in the acrobatic feats of your baby-to-be practicing karate in your womb, and you’ve got a recipe for sleepless nights.

Sharp mind

You probably heard about the infamous “pregnancy brain” – a phenomenon where the memory seems to play hide-and-seek more often than not.

It’s as if your brain decided to take a vacation to Hawaii, leaving behind a charming but forgetful intern to manage the show.

And don’t even get me started on the time you put the milk in the pantry and the cereal box in the fridge.

Pregnancy sounds great, right? And I didn’t even mention the nausea, heartburn, dizziness every time you stand up, and the best thing of all – hemorrhoids.

So while you will probably suffer a bit during your pregnancy, remember that it’s a wild and wonderful journey filled with unexpected moments and plenty of laughs along the way.

Embrace the chaos, cherish the quirks, and remember, you’re growing a tiny human – and that’s pretty incredible.